Letters to my Children | to them both | 4 of 12 / by Carey

April 11, 2013

Dear Little Buddy and Little Lady,

Letter to my Children

The night before I was scheduled to go to the hospital to deliver Little Lady, I sat on our bed and cried my eyes out to your daddy.  He was so good to me.  He held me and comforted me as I confessed all my fears of the unknown.  I absolutely loved our life with Little Buddy at that point.  I adored his little 20-month self and all of the things he learned each day.  I loved our routine and our relationship.  We were bonded, Little Buddy and me.  I was terrified of the changes, and I didn't want to lose the time I had to spend with him, since my attention would now be divided among two, one of which was a newborn baby.   My heart felt full to bursting with love.  How could there possibly be room for another child in there?  It didn't make sense to my foolish brain.

What I never could have imagined is how the two of you would love each other.  It never crossed my mind that you two would meet a need in each other that I never could hope to meet.

I have a brother and a sister, and we are all three incredibly close in age.  Closer than the two of you.  But I don't remember a strong attachment with them, as a child.  Perhaps that is how the dynamic of three changes things, verses our dynamic of two in our family.  They were close, but I was always alone: the oldest.  I always had my introverted independent streak that guided my moves.  I have no first hand knowledge of that close knit bond of brother and sister, so I certainly wasn't expecting it.

Of course once Little Lady arrived I realized the miracle of the hearts that God placed inside of us.  The love I had for Little Buddy need not diminish because of Little Lady's arrival.  Somehow the heart just grows and there's that much more love inside for the new family member.  I'd read and heard that a hundred times, yet it is one of those things that you cannot understand until you experience it for yourself.  It is amazing, miraculous and wonderful.  There is always, always room for more love.  And each day, the love grows.  It feels daily that there is no more room to grow, but grow it does!

(I intended to write more but ran out of time.  Next month I will continue my letter to you both, about the relationship you share).

Visit my friend Ginger Unzueta next and view her amazing images and heart felt words.