I'm not one to buy flowers very often. It isn't that I don't enjoy them; quite the contrary. But it is hard to justify the expense of something that will wither sooner rather than later, when that money could be put to much better use. Usually I just don't look, so I'm not disappointed at the beauty I can't take home.
I realized while stopped at a traffic light that it had been nearly four months since I had driven somewhere that I knew. Four months since I'd known the roads I traveled. Four months since I knew what turns to make or what restaurant was around the corner. Four months since I was the captain of my ship, confidently leading the way. I felt tears prick my eyes at the surge of emotion. I hadn't known how much I missed the sense of security the comes with knowing where you are -- that comfortable familiarity and knowing expectation with a sense of place. My heart ached with longing for it.