Letters to my Children | to them Both | 5 of 12 / by Carey

One of my creative projects for 2013 is Letters to my Children.  A monthly commitment to write a letter to one or both of them.  This has been something I've meant to do their entire lives and I'm grateful that this project has given me the activation energy to go ahead and do it!  Here is May's letter, and here you can find the past letters.

Letter to my Children

May 15, 2013

Dear Little Buddy and Sweet Pea,

It wasn't our intention to have you both so close together.  In fact, if I'd had it my way, you wouldn't have been.  Yet here is another grand example of how God's ways and timing supersedes the illusion of wisdom on our part.  He knew what you both would need and He acted, and oh, how I am grateful for that.  With the trouble my body had while trying to conceive Little Buddy, we were advised to begin trying to conceive the Little Lady as soon as possible.  We did.  So very much to our surprise, Sweet Pea, you were conceived instantly.  And thus, you'd both be twenty months apart.

We were so excited that we were expecting a new little life again (and without the long struggle this time!), but we were quite anxious about the age difference.  Little Buddy, you were very much still a baby when the Little Lady was born.  You were still four whole months from two!  In the land of toddlers, four months is a whole lot of time for change and development.  You weren't even speaking more than a handful of words when she arrived!

Those who had experienced the blessing of having children very close together would encourage us when they would see us out with our baby and see me obviously pregnant.  We heard them, but I don't think we truly believed them, or perhaps this is another case where you just can't understand it until you've experienced it first hand.  They warned us that the first few years when both were really babies would be hard.  Real hard.  But then, the reward would come.  The two of you would be so close.  Would be each other's best friends and just truly enjoy each other.

Letter to my Children

They were right, of course.  So many times during the trials of two babies (I really cannot fathom twins!), I wanted to scream and cry out to these latent encouragers.  "You said it would be get easier!!!!  You said this would end up good!!!  Where is the good!?"  Don't misunderstand.  You were both always wonderful and perfect.  But let's just say that I'd call both of you high needs babies.  Neither of you ever just sat and chilled out, like so many of the babies and toddlers I see when we go out.  Ever.  Both were always on the move.  Always curious. Never napping!!! Always demanding.  And always very loud about whatever wasn't happening the instant you wanted it to happen.  Perhaps I just have a very low tolerance for crying.  Who knows.  But those first few years when you were both still so young, were truly quite challenging for us.

I anxiously awaited that day when the two of you would start to interact and enjoy each other.  I remember, vividly, one of the first times that I realized you two adored each other - and I mean, adored!!! -  and we may be over that difficult hump.  Little Buddy tromped around the playset in the playroom while Little Lady crawled after and giggled - no.  Giggle isn't the right word.  Full on belly laughed -  her head off.  It was one of the first glimmers of hope that all the struggle would be worth it.  Oh, how it has been!  (here's that video. I dare you to watch it and not giggle with her!)



Letter to my Children

You two are so very much each other's best friend.  You absolutely love each other.  You want to share everything together.  You like the same things and the same activities.  When something awesome happens, you can't wait to share it with the other.  The love you feel toward each other, today, nearly five years later, makes every single moment of struggle and despair worth it.  That you two have each other - oh, it just makes my heart swell with joy.


Letter to my Children





Letter to my Children

Sweet Pea misses her big brother like cuhrazeeee when he is at school.  On her non-preschool days, she asks non stop if it is time to go get him.  She is lonely without him.  Any activity she gets to do, she wants Little Buddy to come, too.  Any gift or treat, she wants to share, to.  She loves him.  And he loves her.  Little Buddy loves to teach her things.  Show her things.  Boss her around a little bit.  : )

That is not to say there is never conflict.  You two can bicker like the best of them!  Oh, how we are weary of the bickering!!!  For two kids who love each other so much, you sure can get on each other's nerves!

Letter to my Children



Letter to my Children

I had hoped to capture a few of those moments when I took the two of you out this afternoon for these photos, to capture your relationship.  And they were there, most certainly.  Sweet Pea, you retreat to isolation when you are upset.  So I got your back as you stomped away for a few moments until you decided you were over it.  I never managed to capture your incredibly expressive face in your anger and disappointment.  One bonus to your feminine emotionality, however, is that you are preparing your big brother to be a good and patient husband one day.  Sometimes our feminine emotions don't make sense and we need our men to just go with it.  Little Buddy is certainly having lots of practice.

Letter to my Children



Letter to my Children

Words are inadequate to describe how much I love the two of you.  And words are also inadequate to describe how powerful I feel about your relationship.  How thankful I am that God has blessed us with both of you, and blessed you with each other.  I couldn't possibly ask for more.  You two bless my soul each and every day.

Letter to my Children



Letter to my Children

I love you.  No! I love YOU more!

love, Momma

Letter to my Children

The eloquent Amy Grace of A Beautiful Life Photo is up next in our group creative project.  Visit her!