I haven't wanted to pick up my camera much over the last month. I started this 365 project in January, however, and I am stubborn. I have continued to snap a photo daily, but there has been a lot of junk. I know about myself that when I'm overwhelmed with things to do (like unpack an entire house, stat), I cannot operate in the creative space. So I accepted the fact that these interim photos will be less than stellar. The project is for me alone and that's where I need to be in this moment. There have been a few days when I barely remembered to shoot something, but I had made it every day. Until yesterday.
Yesterday not one thing caught my eye enough to make me want to photograph it. So I didn't. Around 745pm while I sat on the couch all alone, feeling overwhelmed at what there is left to do and not wanting to do it, I decided I was going to a skip a day. That's not very like me at all, but I just wasn't feeling it. I hesitated a little bit, knowing that if I indulged and let just ONE day slip, I'd probably be likely to do it again. I just couldn't muster taking another contrived shot. I set my mental camera down.
Suddenly she pops around the corner of the kitchen and asks me to get her something else to eat. She stared out the window, not making eye contact, while her mind flitted from all the random things that she has running through it. And I was transfixed.
"FREEZE!" I told her. They know what this means. She isn't very good at it. I see these moments all the TIME and don't have my camera at the ready fast enough to get them. But yesterday, she stood still enough. I asked her to look back out the window at whatever she'd been watching. She did. And I got these. On the day I'd decided to quit.
Goodness gracious, she is so beautiful to me, it hurts.